Relationship Help for Women: Anger Management

I know what I instinctively do when I get angry. I sit on it.

I want to think about it. I want to think about what to do with it. If the person who just said or did something that got my anger started, especially if it's my husband or my daughter, I most especially stuff it down until I can figure out what to say. Often the moment gets lost entirely. I find myself grumpy or tense ten minutes later, ruminating on my anger like a cow chewing cud, and my opportunity to express myself feels lost forever.

Not so. What I'm describing here, it seems, is me beating myself up because I didn't know what to do with the anger I was feeling. What's sometimes worse is when my husband is angry. At me.

Relationship Help for Women: Anger Management

I can handle his anger if it's towards others. I get behind him, confirm his righteous indignation, his enemy is my enemy. I'm a great team player. So where am I when he's angry at me? What team am I on?

The first split second I feel his coolness, I'm on team Rori. I get my back up, I protect my back, I face off. I'm the star goalie, defender of Rori, no angry words could possibly hurt me, I never, ever, ever did anything wrong. Or I did everything wrong. I bounce from anger at him for being angry with me to anger at myself for causing such unbearable conflict. I blame myself for severing love, even for this moment. It doesn't occur to me until sometimes hours later that acting as if I'm on team Our Relationship would not only be better for the relationship, but for me, too. All I need to do is share my anger.

We all know from reading every book on communication ever written that we're supposed to communicate in "I feel" messages, not "You did" messages. And yet -- How do you do that? Most of us don't even know what that looks like, much less how to get the words out. Not one woman (including me) that I've met has even seen it in our lifetime, except maybe in the movies. Not only do we not know what it feels like to really talk in "I feel" messages, we hardly ever even know what it is we even feel!

Those of you who have been to my workshops know that a big part of my work is helping women access their feelings and then express those feelings in words a man can hear.

One of the emotions we women have the most trouble with is anger, and anger is also the emotion we often seem to have the most of! We are all angry a good part of the time. Perhaps it's disappointment, or irritation, or pure rage. Some of us have gotten seriously sick trying to hold in so much anger. Some of us can only attract men who offend us, who make us angry, because we are so angry.

Putting a smiley face on our anger just makes it all worse, because on top of the authentic angry inferno anyone who stands next to us can sense (no matter how dense we think they are) we're adding the disrespect of trying to hide it from them. We're pretending it's not even there -- though it's like a great big elephant sticking out of our chests. That angry elephant trumpets through our words no matter how hard we try to disguise it. When we pretend, we appear at best like automatons, at worst like liars. We can seem completely out of touch with ourselves and at the same time complain about how men can't get in touch with their feelings!

So, what to do?

1. Agree that anger, even murderous rage, is just a feeling. It's just energy. And it's most likely covering pain. Because anger truly does feel better than pain, it's a very worthwhile and helpful emotion.

2. Admit to ourselves that what we're feeling is anger, and that it belongs to us, not to the man across the dinner table. Admit that it most likely has absolutely nothing to do with that man across the table. It may be anger from the last relationship, the last two dozen relationships, or our relationships with our parents. And then admit that if it is about the man across the table, and he's said or done something clearly hurtful, you not only don't have to tolerate it -- you can handle the next step!. Which is:

3. Share it. This is not about venting, getting it out, or "communicating." It's about sharing your feeling state in order to both keep yourself healthy and deepen your relationship with another human being. Say "I'm feeling angry". Period. If he asks you why -- say "I feel really angry. And hurt. And now I'm feeling confused. And now I feel a little silly even telling you". Or "Ouch -- that really hurt -- it feels terrible". (Notice I didn't say "You made me feel terrible" or "That makes me feel terrible", I just said "I feel terrible".) It may seem like a little thing, and yet my work is based on the idea that these little things add up to big things, and then pretty soon your life has changed for the better and you've already lived through all those big changes that right now seem so terrifying.

Learn how to go a few rounds with him, responding in the moment -- even if it gets to you screaming "Now I'm so angry I feel like hitting you! I don't want to be here anymore!" and leaving the space.

If you have to do this a lot, you may want to look at why you've chosen to stick around with this man at all -- which brings us right back to the question of why we hide the stuff in the first place. Is it because we're afraid to look at what's really going on in the relationship, what's really going on in our hearts?

I know it seems too simplistic to just share your feeling state. We want to explain, to help him understand. Actually, we just want to slap him around. We want to punish him. And that gets us, and the relationship, nowhere.

So where does all this sharing of feelings get us? Every single woman I've taught to do this (including myself) has told me that it shifts the conversation. It shifts the entire relationship. Where there was once tension and a feeling of detachment, there's now a feeling of play and connection. Sharing our feeling state is an outrageous act of bravery. Any man in the room can see that.

And any man can feel the utter authenticity and vulnerability of it. Any man can feel how much you must trust and respect him to be able to open up like that, without attacking him. Without so much as mentioning his name. And any woman who does this, even a little, experiences a freeing up inside.

All of a sudden all the pretense goes away, and the fear of dropping the pretense goes away. All of a sudden the need to defend, the need to be guarded goes away, and the fear of dropping our guard goes away. There's suddenly nothing between you and your man. He can feel it. You can feel it.

Where it goes from there is out of your hands. And that, once you get used to it, is liberating. It opens the door and parts the curtain and gives you the chance to really let love walk in. And then it does.

Relationship Help for Women: Anger Management
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In her packed Los Angeles workshops, relationship coach, author, speaker and seminar leader Rori Gwynne teaches women the completely original, controversial, simple-to-do techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own now-glorious eighteen-year marriage around.

Visit Rori at http://www.CoachRori.com to get free Tip Sheets, to sign up for the free, powerful CoachRori Newsletter, and to see how Rori can help you Turn the Relationship You Have Into the Relationship you Want.

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Increase The Outcome Odds In Your Favor

Many times in life, I've seen people get angry and upset over an event that happened. This event could be anything; a remark that someone made or an incident that occurred or even just a feeling that one may have at a particular time, triggered by another event.

For example, many years ago, I had a boss who came into the office with a red face, obviously angry over something. He walked right into his office, slammed the door and kept himself locked in till lunch. Nobody dared disturb him and everyone worked in apprehension as to what will happen next if he should walk out of the room. Will be bark at someone? Will he find something to throw his anger at? His "foul mood" had affected the mood of the office environment as well. At lunch, he went out and never came back till the next day. A few days later, when all seemed to have cooled down, a colleague asked his secretary what happened. Apparently, he had an argument with the contractor who was building his house in the morning before coming into the office, and allowed his anger and disappointment to get the better of him.

In another incident, a female colleague came to the office, looking very downcast. All day, she was not very responsive and it affected the mood of the office as she was the "livewire" of the office. We found out later, that she had receive news that a good childhood friend was hospitalized with a serious illness.

Increase The Outcome Odds In Your Favor

We all have seen these incidents, and some of us may have been the "victims" of some of these as well. Many times, we justify our anger, sadness etc... by saying, "He/She should not have said (or done) this!" I'm also sure that when the incident was over, we'd all look back at the incident to realize the folly of our behavior and see how it had affected not just ourselves but also others in our vicinity.

What we need to realize here is that how we feel about a particular incident (referred to as the "outcome" here) is mostly defined by the equation, Event x Response = Outcome. We often blame the "Event" for our "Outcome" but in reality, most of our "Outcome" is really defined by how we "Respond" to the "Event".

Let's look at a hypothetical event that could happen in real life. Let's imagine we are in a classroom and Mrs Brown picks on John in class and said, "John, your report was not very good. I would like you to come to my office after school and we will spend the afternoon going through your report". How do you think John's self-esteem will be affected? Well, in most cases, most people would think that John's self-esteem will be affected negatively for being singled out in class because that is how most of us were programmed to think! Well, let's take a look at how John can respond.

Firstly, if John is like most people, he can choose to see that the teacher dislikes him and his report and chose to pick on him and embarrass him in class. If he responds this way, his self-esteem will definitely be affected negatively.

Alternatively, John could choose to see that his teacher does not fully understand the subject he is writing about in his report because it is a topic that is too profound for most people. He makes up his mind to tell his teacher, Mrs Brown, that. In this case, his self-esteem will not be affected.

Finally, John could choose to think this, "There are so many students in class writing about a similar topic and Mrs Brown chose to pick on me. I think she likes me!" If John responds this way, his self-esteem could actually be elevated.

You can see from the example above that the "Outcome" (in this case, John's Self-Esteem), is affected differently just by how he chooses to respond. While this is a hypothetical event, similar events replay themselves everyday in real life on different people; a child spilled his drink on your favorite dress, a guest made a remark about your poor taste in dressing, you lost something valuable etc...

Just last week, a friend lost her favorite wallet. I expected her to be upset but instead she said, "Oh well, while it is valuable, it's also old and maybe it's time to buy a new one!". What an awesome example of managing our "Response" to tilt the "Outcome" in your favor.

Life "throws" you many things everyday. When life throws you a "Lemon", instead of wincing at the sourness of the lemon, chose to make lemonade instead!

Increase The Outcome Odds In Your Favor
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C.H. Seet is the author of the blog, Ezinspirations (http://www.ezinspirations.com/blog). He has a Bachelors degree in Electrical Engineering and a Masters in Business Administration and has a successful career spanning more than 2 decades. C.H. started as a Sales Engineer in Hewlett Packard and then moved on to become Product Marketing Manager in Rockwell Automation. He now heads a German multi-national located in Singapore and overlooks the whole SE Asian region.

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Anger Management - How Anger Effects Your Body

Anger affects our body in many ways. Feelings of anger ascend when we feel stressed, betrayed, or hurt. Anger causes our bodies to become tense and twists our stomach in knots. When we feel this way, the world seems to tumble around us and we feel as if our best friend has packed up and left us behind. Aloneness creeps in and we often feel like the world is an illusion and everyone is out of his or her minds.

There are days we want to run and take cover and there are times we simply want to find the source that caused our pain and beat them to a bloody pulp. We know we cannot do this since it is unlawful and it does not help our problems. Rather when we blow up and displace our frustrations on somebody else. When this happens, we are only adding heartache to heartache.

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Sometimes we all fail to see that there is a rational solution to our problems, and when we use up our last resources, and no one, then where do we turn? How do we find our way out?

Anger Management - How Anger Effects Your Body

If you feel like there is nothing left in the world for you and that, you have run out of answers to the many questions then you are not alone. One effective way to consider your situation is to know that someone else is suffering more than you are.

Convincing your self to remain optimistic can help when times are tough. When you have been betrayed, robbed, manipulated, lied to, hurt and you feel that the person is getting away with mistreating you, remember, the bad guys always pay a higher charge than what they inflict on the victim. It may take some time, but in the end they will get what's coming to them.

If you have been wronged rather than venting your anger in a negative light, try using your intellect and resources to more constructive things and let the universe enforce law against the person that committed the crime against you.

If you are purely battling with common problems then remember to take it one day at a time. Try to find some humor in your circumstances. Laughter is always a good cue for relieving anger.

When you feel your stomach in knots, try to focus on something positive or do chores. Anytime we burn energy, we are burning negative emotions.

If you enjoy writing, sit down and write an article, book, story, or a simple journal. Jot down your feelings, how you view the world, and the people in the world. Try to find a way write some humor in, so that you can laugh when you look back at what you wrote.

If you body is tense go for a stroll and try to admire the beautiful scenery that God gave us. Remember when you are walking that something good comes from wicked. This may not make sense, but if you look back at your many troubles and how you dealt with them, you will see a string of good fortunes that came your way.

We can all make more of a position than what really exists and we all need to stay strong to survive the game of life. If you feel that you are picked out for punishment, then think of the men in war, the kids in abusive homes, or the wives that are tormented by their own husbands.

Now look at your condition again. Are you homeless? Do you have a home? Do you have food in your refrigerator? Do you have your bills paid? If this is true then what's the problem?

Anytime we are angry, our body is negatively impacted and this inflicts harm to our well being. Is anything worth destroying your health, including your body and mind?

If you are angry, think before you do something, because impulsive behavior leads to troubles that are more convoluted. When you feel like the world is caving in on you, pick up your torture stake and walk another mile.

We all deal with rejection as it is a part of life, but anger does not have to control you. You must stay in charge at all times using the principles prescribed in this editorial.

Anger Management - How Anger Effects Your Body

Michelle Green is a leader in the personal development industry. She offers her blog readers a free self-help audio book every month at [http://personaldevelopmentaudiobook.com]

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4 Anger Problem Symptoms You Can't Ignore

Anger is something that we all deal with from time to time. Unfortunately, some people have more problems dealing with anger, than others. Here are 4 anger problem symptoms you can use to identify whether you might have an anger problem.

You Get Angry Often

Anger Management

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If you get angry frequently, there's a good chance you may have some issues related to anger that need to be dealt with. When this happens one of the best things to do is give yourself time away from the things that are making you angry.

4 Anger Problem Symptoms You Can't Ignore

You're Always Defensive

Are you always getting defensive about something? Things like your work, your looks, your weight, how you talk, or anything else? Getting defensive and angry over things that make you defensive, is a sign you should evaluate things before reading too much into them. Otherwise, you'll find yourself getting angry over things that probably were taken out of context.

Any Little Thing Gets You Mad

Do the smallest things set you off? You know things like: getting stuck in traffic, your morning coffee is cold, or you get ketchup on your new shirt. There are worse things in life than spilling something on your shirt... although it can be annoying, it really doesn't justify the amount of anger, or attention, that it gets.

You Get Aggressive

Becoming aggressive when you're angry is one of the worst things you can do. It can be a marker of just how "out of control" your anger is. If you get aggressive when you get angry, even for small things, then you're endangering not only yourself, but those around you.

Recognizing anger problem symptoms is the first step in taking charge of your anger, before it begins damaging your life.

4 Anger Problem Symptoms You Can't Ignore

The next step is learning anger control tips you can start applying today.

Download your free copy of "A Simple Guide To Controlling Anger In 4 Easy Steps" here: http://www.nicheanswers.com/anger-control-tips

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5 Vital Signs of a Suppressed Anger and How to Manage Them

If you are in the habit of suppressing your anger, you may be accumulating unwanted things into your system without knowing it. It is right time you manage it before it goes out of hand. Suppressing anger may not be the best method of managing your anger because the long time effects of accumulated angers may not be helpful to your health. If you have experienced any of the following vital signs then you are likely to have a suppressed anger and the best thing is to solve the problem. Here are some of the vital signs of suppressed anger that may be visible or invisible and how you can solve the problem.

First, restlessness. The effect is that you are not happy with yourself or the other person who caused the anger for you. Your best bet here is to remain calm and be on top of the situation.

Anger Management

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Second, judgmental. You feel judgmental towards others and find fault in them. You also consider yourself to be right. Try and have an open mind and be less judgmental. Reason from the other person's point of view.

5 Vital Signs of a Suppressed Anger and How to Manage Them

Third, you are moody and unhappy. You feel sad, hurt and worried. The best thing to do is to be happy.

Fourth, high tendency to violence. Due to your inability to express the anger, the probability to turn violent is very high. Since you are aware of this, you may leave the scene of the situation without hurting anybody.

Fifth, depression. You feel depressed and unwanted and may harm yourself if no solution in proffered on time. Forget about depression, it is a state of the mind, remove it totally from your mind.

Suppressing anger is a temporary measure of managing your anger but the long term effect of anger suppressed on the person may be worse than expressing the anger in the first place. Avoid suppressing your anger but find ways of positively expressing them, control and manage it. If you consider the signs of suppressed anger such as restlessness, moody, unhappiness, prone to violence, it is better you express your anger but control and manage it. Some ways to solve these problems include:remaining calm, have an open mind, be happy, leave the scene and remove depression from your mind. With all these you will be able to manage your suppressed anger.

5 Vital Signs of a Suppressed Anger and How to Manage Them

Do you want to learn more on tips to manage your anger? We can help you. Visit us at this link. [http://www.tipstomanageyouranger.com].

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The Test of Human Courage - Wonders Never Cease

The Gold Coast was officially declared a British crown colony in1874 but it was formerly the Swedish, the Portuguese, the Dutch, the Danish, and the Brandenburg Gold Coast. Accra became the capital of the colony. In 1946, but the colonial control declined after World War 2. Activities in Ghana halted in 1939 and the RWAFF, consisting of Northern Nigeria Regiment, 3rd battalion, Southern Nigeria Regiment, 2nd battalion, the Gold Coast Regiment, 1st battalion, The Sierra Leone Battalion, 1st battalion, and the Gambia Company, 1st company. The battalions were formed by the British in 1900. They served in Italian Somaliland, Abyssinia, and Burma. In 1956, Queen Elizabeth II paid a visit to the Nigeria and gave the Nigeria Regiment the title "Queen's Own Nigeria Regiment".

The British built a High Court which was a huge mansion. Some few metres away from the High Court, was the Sea. To the left of the High Court was the beautiful sandy beach for the British and beach to the left side of the High Court was allotted to the Ghanaians which had strong waves. A few kilometres away from the beach was a dumping ground for waste and litter. The sea was green and deep.

Anger Management

NEAR DEATH ENCOUNTER

The Test of Human Courage - Wonders Never Cease

It was 23rd of January 1941, the sun was bright and the sky was blue, the day absolutely beautiful and cloudless but all the same I had a woeful experience at the beach in Accra. It was remorseful. I left my parents that day to the beach near the High Court. My parents had gone to visit some acquaintances. I walked together with my older brother Martin to the beach. It was some few kilometres away from home. It was about 10 AM. There were multitudes of young people swimming and enjoying themselves. It was the treacherous section, full of ferocious waves and undercurrent and deep. The excellent part, with slow moving and gently Sea waves, without trenches and pleasant moving light winds was, allocated to the British. Martin, my brother left me for a moment to purchase ice cream. I accompanied a young lad I met on the beach and walked hand in hand at the fringes of the Seawater.

Suddenly, we fell into a shallow and hollow area in the sea and drifted deeper into the Sea, vanishing from sight. I was separated from my accomplice. I had never swum before and I vanished steadily into the depth of the Sea. Under the deep green waters of the sea, I saw some green mountainous objects circling around me. I was ejected out of the sea and pushed up to the surface of the Sea. I was able to breathe some air but unfortunately I was forcefully drawn into the bottom of the Sea floor. I kept on paddling between the middle of the Sea and the Sea floor for one twenty minutes, gasping vigorously and energetically for air.

In my adversity, I saw lots of shelves and molluscs at the Sea bottom. They were arranged like circular objects in a shape that looked like Sea creatures. From the conglomerate of shelves, objects protruded like brittle stars which shone periodically and resembled pairs of eyes. Urchins, curved like spoons at the lower bottom half of the circular objects looked like a huge oral cavity. Radiating from either side of the heads were various other images protruding land stretching like appendages, a kind of medusa-like head. I circled around the huge object for some air. Suddenly, there was enough air at the floor of the sea to sustain me.

The water temperature was dropping and it was becoming cooler. Something suddenly pushed me up but I was drawn into the bottom of the sea where the temperature was warmer. It was as if someone was guiding me. Each time I re-surfaced, I saw some boats searching to rescue me from my peril but they were unable to find me because I surfaced for few seconds at a time. As I kept on struggling between the two worlds, life and death, I heard a child's cry; at least I thought it was a baby's cry. Suddenly, a violent Sea wave passed over me and I was drawn deeper into the Sea; the currents at the Sea floor became stronger, pushing me towards the medusa-like arms of brittle stars. There were large quantities of air but I was tumbling from side to side towards some huge molluscs. The molluscs were soft like cushions and lights like beacons were shining all over the area that surrounded me. I prayed feverishly because of my religious beliefs. Within a twinkle of an eye, an undercurrent at the bottom of the See pushed me up steadily. I found myself at the surface of the See waters where the rescuers could see me. A big hand grabbed me by the neck and another pair of hands grabbed me under my armpits. I was finally rescued and carried to the beach.

Arriving at the beach was the dead body of my accomplice. He laid down dead amidst multitudes of spectators. An ambulance was called in and I was admitted at the emergency department for some few hours. It was the revelation of my childhood's experience which occupied my mind and reminded me to be cautious and watchful in life. My father never understood how abysmally ignorant and utterly raw I was because we overlooked the signals indicating dangerous areas at the beaches.

Even at a very young age and spiritually unstable, I could not live without indulging myself in Christian fate. In spite of parental love my state of emotion was subjected to constant conflict because of the incident at the Sea. However, my parent's religious convictions inspired my profoundest participation in Christianity. My parent's absorbing passion was religion to which headed the persistent determination that many unlucky people had so conspicuously lacked. I sheltered in this faith and often walked long distances warily through darkness singing songs of prayer. I meditated to reach a state of deep relaxation in which I could recharge my energy to lead a better life. It was the youthful Christian revelation and confidence that made me dwell on the fruits of success and inward peace.

The Phantom

Some few months later, I arrived home from a game of hockey to find our house empty; there was nobody in the house except my mother dressed in splendour of black. The house was otherwise full of people. There was something strange about my mother, she was silent and did not talk. She did not walk but moved slowly from the hall to the bedroom and back again. I had the impression that my mother did not even see me but I was standing beside her. My youthful intuition did not warm me of a surprise and I did not have any premonition. She was very much alive and looked happy. I had never before believed in super naturals because of my Christian believes but the scenery was so real to me that I became shaky thinking that I had seen a spirit. Nevertheless I was relaxed and my mother was also relaxed and she watched me adoringly. My mother bent over me with an expression on her face that could only be described as angel-like but she suddenly disappeared from the room. I was very anxious and my heart started to beat rather quickly because I could not understand her gesticulations. I stood in the room and blinked until my eyes became accustomed to the murkiness in the room. I was then able to see the face of my mother lying in bed. I gleamed sharply and stumbled over a basket because it was on my pathway. I did not fall. I could hear my mother whispering so, I got nearer and called my mother but she did not answer. My eyes became heavy with tears I was not sure whether I was daydreaming or something.

Suddenly, the door opened and my father entered to break the news to me that my mother had died and he had just returned from the mortuary. At first I could not belief my father because I had just seen her. Telling my father that my mother was not dead but she was asleep in the bedroom, my father shook his head but followed me to the bedroom. My mother was not in bed and she was nowhere to be found. In disbelief, I hesitated and asked my father to take me to the mortuary. I suddenly lost some kind of burning light within him. I accompanied my father to the mortuary where I saw the corpse of my mother. I was hardened because of my Christian believes and tried to overcome the apocalypse. I believed that love of people can be conductive to thoughts and heart if I tried to understand. We left the mortuary with tears in my eyes.

The next morning I re-visited the corps of my mother with pounding heart and I lived with a characteristic idealism of those good years I had with my mother.

I began to look for some centre of meaning in life because I sought for a deepening knowledge of the world. I began to wonder about the way certain periods in one's life had meaning and other periods meaningless. But the death of my mother contributed to a sense which rang through my life and my attitudes towards life did not change; I became more realistic and managed to extract some knowledge of life from my father and some older friends who treated me with kindness and condolence. As time passed by the death of my mother did no longer make me shudder nor fill me with misery; I felt that my mother had gone away into another world and I lived under that belief. I accepted my mother`s death as part of experience, hers and mine. Hers because people do not know what lie beyond death and death itself, mine, because grief is part of the total richness of life, it is life's optimistic weapon thus, part of its pattern.

A horrifying day

Time passed by and I, galvanised by a trip abroad, travelled to the California, LA, United States of America. One nice evening I went out to dine at a restaurant in the centre of the city. Going out of the restaurant a man begged me for food or money. For what I could see, the man was indeed very hungry. He begged me repeatedly for about three minutes. As I was about to offer him some few dollars because of my religious convictions, people nearby made signs to me that I should refuse him. I heard a loud sound and I was taken aback. I looked here and there for a second and noticed that the man was furiously annoyed and he was holding a jack knife. Suddenly I saw that my life was threatened thus, there was no time for me to stand and stare at him. Forlornly, I made a little step to his left pretending to take money from my wallet but the man centred his knife towards my heart and his face was covered with a mixture of horror and anger. My life was threatened so, I gave him some dollars irrespective of what people would say. I hurried back to my hotel with the relief that I had thrown off a burden with a painless relief. I learnt not merely to subscribe to ignorance.

From that moment on, I made up my mind never again should I listen to the ideas of others but to depend on my own benevolent actions to express my feelings. I knew now that the streets were filled with a moving number of peoples, some of them never appeared bright; their only aim was reaping in sorrow of that which was meant to be delight. Indeed, I felt as if I had been born again, rejuvenated and that mattered more than if I had lost my life so unceremoniously. The spirit in my mind recognized life as a dignified hope for humanity otherwise; there was no coherency to why a man was set on earth.

Joblessness was plenty, laziness was abundant, and wages were inadequate for the hard working man everywhere so that with minimum inflation neither workers nor professionals could have savings. These irritations and indignities provoked unstable characteristics of everyday's life as well as dread. The atmosphere in which such people moved to and fro was because of apprehensive environment of bewilderment. However, I learned that one could not be careful enough in certain areas in this world. Demoralisation had followed unemployment and people accustomed to spending few dollars in buying butter and bread had lost the habits of purchasing. I observed that bitterness followed a pattern of deterioration rather than a change for the better. I was reminded to be aware of the menacing future which might descend with annihilation upon the blameless generation to follow. Yet, people exist like a hard compact coal which burns without glow, probably a confused world, and a world of degeneracy. However, I had the belief that human nature changes because people always pray for deliverance from demolition.

SHORT LIVED DREAMS

My dreams and philosophies were short lived. I tramped wearily through the streets towards my hotel. Arriving at the vicinity of the hotel the whole area was in firestorm. As I stood and watched the collapsing buildings, my hotel emerged from the greyness of the flames and ashes, taking on individuality as the Firemen quenched the flames. Suddenly, from the unrolling midst of oblivion, encounters of the past and present accumulated in heaps and smeared my mind and ended in an uncontrolled outburst of teething spiritual troubles. I had spiritual impairment that misleadingly occurred as a consequence of series of sad happenings in my life. I had seen hardships of ecclesiastical nature and ordeals so often and yet these occurrences were for me too heavy to bear. I meditated on the defencelessness of the very old people and of the newborn against the turbulent life, for the very old people it was because they will soon leave the world and be spared from fear mingled with disrespect, and for the newborn, life's suffering may be the road for unpleasant way out. I eventually became calm and collected.

MY FEELINGS

I felt enormously and endlessly tired of everything after the incident but I had to go on living. I was disturbed and I walked in the darkness of life with silence in which no hope could gain victory. I walked mechanically around and felt I was haunted so, I prayed and put up a strong fight against my inner judgement of what was right and wrong and I eventually ceased to care.

He regained his Christian faith and lived happily after.

The Test of Human Courage - Wonders Never Cease

The Author begins with a little history about where he is born in the colonies. He passes through never ending series of sad events in his life. He drowns in the sea together with his friend yet he is saved because of his Christian faith but his friend is not lucky, he dies. He sees the phantom of his mother without knowing the mother is dead, but tries to put up with the situation because of his Christian faith. He nearly losses his life by listening to the advices of others but acts because of his Christian believes and saves his own life. He goes home to his hotel and finds the hotel in firestorm. He sees hardships of ecclesiastical nature and ordeals so often and yet these occurrences are for him too heavy to bear. He feels enormously and endlessly tired of everything after so many dreadful incidents but he keeps on existing in his Christian beliefs. He loses hope but regains his faith in Christianity because that is a secured and a moral thing to do. He would have been dead had it not been because of his Christian beliefs.

Geoffrey Akuamoa

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Six Tips to Deal With Your Anger

If you think that you never have a hot temper, you may want to read this. Every person has hot temper. Only most of us have it hidden in our subconscious mind. It is like a sleeping volcano waiting to explode. Once it comes, it acts so fast that you can hardly control it. Anger is one of the biggest causes of fighting or assaults nowadays and has been for a long time. This article shows how to effectively deal with anger. It can be useful for not only those who are prone to be angry all the time, but also some who are not angry so often.

Let me share with you one of my stories. The other day I parked my car in a parking lot. I was preparing my briefcase to go out for a meeting in the car. There was a guy who came to his car. He did not noticed me and open his car door so harsh that his door scratched my car. I went out and we had big argument. Although, I am a nice person and never have any quarrel with anybody. That day I almost went to a fight and kill the guy. This may be exaggerated but who knows. Luckily, my mobile rang and the person I want to meet called me. That was the only thing that drives me away from the potential fighting scene.

Anger Management

This is the example that the situation can happen without prior notice. It can come up and get out of control even with a person who is considered cool-minded. Once you realize, disaster might have happened. After that day, I learned how to control my emotion and practiced to avoid all other bad emotions. The following tips can be useful for you if you want to also control your hot temper.

Six Tips to Deal With Your Anger

1. Take a deep breath.

Get more oxygen into your brain when things are out of control. Oxygen supply will make your brain works better and so your consciousness. This is to prevent you from express your anger unconsciously.

2. Walk away from the scene.

Do not be afraid of being accused of being coward. Walking away give your consciousness back. No matter who is the other side in the argument, leave the scene. This can save you from trouble and save you a lot of time.

3. Be brave to accept that you may be wrong or used to be wrong.

When others do bad thing to us, we feel that they are unforgivable. But when we reckon back, we found that we somehow used to do similar mistake. We did not really give ourselves much harsh feeling. Accept that mistakes can be common in life.

4. Forgive the other side no matter if he is right or wrong

Don't let the matter to be too personal. Let it go. If the damage is not substantial, do not waste your time and emotion there. I know this is hard. You need to be very conscious to forgive people. It needs a lot of practice. But believe me. It will give you an extraordinary quality in life.

5. Wish yourself well as well as others everyday

One of the tips is to give mercy to yourself and others in every morning. After you get up from your bed, you may spend some time to write your goals. Look at your goals. Look at your action plan list. Then you can pray if you are religious. Feel gratitude for what you already have. Then you visualize which will be our next tip. The last thing you need to do is to forgive yourself and others and wish all well with peaceful mind. It will release you from the upset mind and give you strength when you face uncontrollable situation.

6. Make visualization daily

You may think how visualization can work to improve your anger situation. We normally visualize the desirable situation. It is more on situation that is related to our goal achievement. You visualize yourself as you already achieve the goal everyday. Your visualization will attract the situation and attributes favorable to achieving the goal into your life. It can also drive unfavorable situation away. This is according to the universal law called "Law of Attraction". I believe that my daily visualization prevent me from going into a fight which is absolutely not relevant to my goal. You can add background audio into your visualization. It will enhance the power of your attraction. There are many in the market. Attraction Accelerator can be one of your choices.

Bad temper may or may not be your weak point. There may be some day that we are in the situation that bad temper can lead to disaster. This article shows you how to deal with such hot temper.

Six Tips to Deal With Your Anger

Jim Somchai

Read more of his articles from his site Visualize Your Dream [http://visualizationmeditation.com]

[http://visualizationmeditation.com]

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